God's Perfect Imperfections: Why Would God Love Me?
Sometimes, the simplest questions in life are the hardest to answer. When I was in high school, one of our classmates tragically took her own life. It shocked the community. This person was extremely active in our church. She was a good student and popular at school. She had a solid circle of friends and a nice family. Like so many tragedies, it never made much sense. Months later, we learned that she had left a note behind and her parents gradually shared its contents to close family and friends. She ended her young life, because she didn’t feel good enough for God. Despite all her work in various church ministries and charities, she always felt that somehow she was letting God down and was unworthy of His love or approval. She simply couldn’t do enough to please God.
Years ago, as an adult, I found myself struggling with the same question. One evening, I was walking down the beach watching an amazing sunset over the ocean. Suddenly, I felt this incredible sense of dread and loneliness. How could the God of the universe, the God who created such beautiful things as the waves, the oceans, the sunrises and sunsets, care or even know about someone as insignificant as me? It took me back to that moment in high school, when I heard the tragic news of my classmate and I found myself wondering, was I good enough or was I doing enough to satisfy God?
I think believers and even non-believers all struggle with this same question: why would God love me? And to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I really have an answer other than He just does. We are God’s perfect imperfections. We all suffer some measure of brokenness. We are all sinners. We all make mistakes. We all are different and yet somehow our challenges are all the same. We struggle with our amazing capacity to do great things while knowing we also are capable of doing great evil. And despite it all, He loves us. It doesn’t matter who we are, God loves us. No guilt trip. No strings attached.
When we peel back the Bible narrative into its simplest form, I think that is what it is really showing us. It is the story of God interacting and working with regular, normal, imperfect people to demonstrate His love and advance His divine, perfect plan. Again, we may wonder why He does it this way. That’s normal. Wouldn’t it just be easier to snap His fingers and it all works out? Maybe. But, God has chosen a different way. And while we find God/Jesus in the pages of the Old and New Testament, we should also find a little bit of ourselves in there too. We’re not lost causes or disappointments by any stretch, at least not to God.
Doubt and crisis of faith are normal. It doesn’t make you a “weak’ Christian or somehow unworthy of God’s love. Pray on them. Ask questions. Talk with a friend. If you have lingering feelings of depression or harmful thoughts, seek professional help, let someone know. We’re on this journey together, to build one another up. And God is with us.